I AM Aby's mother

So maybe this will be the first official vent of many that I may post on here. And, yes, it will have to do with my parents and the whole situation that is STILL going on...

I am growing tired of the games, the mental torment that they seem to think is going to get Charles and I to cave and give them what they want. So far, their tactics were to do things that they figured would bother us. They stopped offering a ride for Charles to work, which was fine with us as we were able to rectify that problem by talking to some of the guys at his job. They have basically stopped being a form of transportation in general. Again, not a problem as where we live isn't that far out of the way from anything walking distance. They stopped calling us to talk. Which wasn't a problem as they rarely called us anyways.

But tonight was the last straw. I've been letting Aby go over to spend time with them as I didn't want her to suffer or get caught in the center of this. It's not fair to her and it's not like it was her fault that her grandparents and parents aren't seeing eye to eye at the moment. If they wanted to see her, I figured I was the bigger person by not denying them the simple pleasure of spending time with Aby. Tonight was no different and it allowed for a lovely quiet evening for Charles and I. We made dinner, sat and watched a movie and, in general, just enjoyed each other company-something that is a rarity since Aby's birth.

First tick against my family is that they never transport my daughter back, we are always expected to go and get her from thier place. I don't mind if didn't happen every time and if they had the decency to let us know that it is time to go get her. But so far we have had to contact them to find out what is going on. Slightly frustrating if you want to turn in for the night and find out that they aren't, after all, keeping you daughter for the night like you were under the impression.

Second tick will seem trivial but there is an underlying reason why it is eating at me. It is the main reason why my feathers are ruffled and about to fall out. Aby's dinner. I had placed it in a travel bowl and sent it down as I did not know if they had any food for her in their fridge. I had told my sister what was there and then placed the bowl in the baby bag. When Aby returned, it had been untouched.

It frustrated me as it's not the first time my parents knew there was food in the bag for Aby and ignored it. It's not the first time that I feel like they don't have respect for me as her mother. I AM ABY'S MOTHER and I don't like to feel like they know better than me. Maybe they do, maybe they don't but Aby isn't their child-she is mine. I am here to look after her well-being, I am responsible and when I send something for her, I would like it to be used.

Maybe it bothers me so much as it is the very essence why we aren't on talking terms- I am not seen as a mother, an adult. I am seen as their daughter and someone that they don't have to obey. I can tell them what I expect, what I want for my daughter but they will just let it slide off their back. Give me the brush off because what do I know? I'm just a know-nothing, rebellious, ungrateful brat. Let Gramma/Grampa take care of you, Aby, we know more than your mother.

I am tiring of the games, I am tiring of being the black sheep of the family. I am tired of not knowing what is going on, if they are ever going to talk to me again. I am tired of being the bad daughter but I also want to have my family back. As angry, frustrated and determined to prove my point as I am, I miss them. I miss being able to visit, to have somewhere to go when I don't want to hang around my own house. But what do I do???? I will not give in to what they want me and Charles to do and that is to apologize for things that weren't are fault, to place ourselves at blame for something that is actually their own fault.

So here I am, typing out a vent and still feeling like I don't have the answers. I want to blow up, I want to lose my cool at my parents but that is what they want and expect. So I am going to grit my teeth and remain silent....let's just hope that it turns out to be worth the effort I'm putting in....