Well, the saga of the child that would not sleep in her own bed goes on. We are on Night Three of working on this sleeping in her own bed thing. The previous 2 nights have been TERRIBLE- I work so hard, get her down just to have her up at approximately 3am and wanting to sleep in my bed for the rest of the night. And both nights, I've caved. Not from a lack of trying to get her down but from sheer exhaustion of trying to get her to sleep in her bed but her stubborness winning out over my need to sleep. And we are talking an hour of fighting early in the morning!!!
I am so at a loss at what to do that early in the morning. The kicker is that it's not the initial bedtime routine she has issues with- it's the fact that we want her to sleep in her bed and she doesn't like being alone or something. With me due at any time and on my own, I'm forced to rectify this by myself and hope that it is dealt with by the time my second shows up. I have been talking to Chuck but there isn't much he can do, as he is 6 hours away and has his own hands tied.
As for that situation, he's put in for parental and now it is just a matter of a higher up saying 'yay' or 'nay' to whether he gets it and then when Izzy shows up, as he can't come home til the baby is here. Which sucks as that is leaving me in labour by myself but I've accepted it- I'm learning that the CF doesn't always like to make families happy, no matter how important the situation. But if all goes well, he will be home for a couple of months to help me with both children and then at the beginning of Feburary he'll go back to base and get his training done. Nice thing, too, is that we will also know if his trade transfer has gone through.
But anyways, that is all. Hopefully, I can figure out some trick that works with Aby and get her accustomed to sleeping whole nights in her own bed. I love my girl but even Mommies need a break from seeing their little girls all the time, day and night.
My Growing Girl
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Uggh, bit off more than I can chew
I'm sometimes not the quickest to realize when too much is too much.
Today I have realized that being a military wife with a toddler and a baby on the way, a fur Mommy to Dachshund and 2 cats with attitudes and a form of 'kitty ADD' is a little much. With Chuck now gone back to base, the cats are the straw breaking the camel's back, as much as I love the litte fur buckets.
We currently have 2 cats- Gibbs, the grey male short hair, and his sister that we've been calling Diva, a calico short hair. They are now 5 months old and we were waiting for my sister to take Diva with her back to her place in St.Catharines but that plan has now fallen through on her behalf due to financial reasons. Considering we knew 2 cats was too much, Diva was going to the SPCA while we were going to keep Gibbs.
Up until late last night, mere hours after I went to bed. At 3am, this morning, I turned over and my right ankle landed smack dab into a cold wet spot on my bed. Thinking it was due to my pregnancy, as I am 9 months preggo and due to pop any day, I started to freak out until I realized it was at my ankle and far away from any part of the bed that I usually sleep on. I had just shoo'd Gibbs from my room and he had been near that same spot, while my dog was on the floor, out cold and practically snoring. I put it together that it was my cat peeing on my bed and I made the quick decision that it was time to make the hard admission that I had too much going on my life while my husband was away at base.
I love cats and, don't get me wrong, I'm a responsible pet owner. I'm not getting rid of Gibbs just 'because' I don't want him, as I do. He's an amazing cat and Chuck is very fond of him now. But I can't risk Gibbs getting angry and spiteful with one of the kids and peeing in their beds or somewhere that they will come in contact. So I am making this hard decision and actually should have known when I took Gibbs on that it was going to add too much my hectic life of chasing a toddler, caring for my dog and running my daily life on my own. Adding Gibbs meant cleaning cat litter that has needed to be changed everyday, since we now have the 2 cats at the moment. The feeding wasn't the problem but that cat litter is a real pain in rear end. And then there is the expense of getting Gibbs neutered. As much as it is more affordable than a female, it's still money that can be going into something more important at the moment, such as the new baby or bills.
Maybe one day we can take on a new cat or maybe even decide to get another dog, as we are realizing that we are more a dog family than one for cats. I don't know but for the near future, Juno will be my only fur-baby.
Today I have realized that being a military wife with a toddler and a baby on the way, a fur Mommy to Dachshund and 2 cats with attitudes and a form of 'kitty ADD' is a little much. With Chuck now gone back to base, the cats are the straw breaking the camel's back, as much as I love the litte fur buckets.
We currently have 2 cats- Gibbs, the grey male short hair, and his sister that we've been calling Diva, a calico short hair. They are now 5 months old and we were waiting for my sister to take Diva with her back to her place in St.Catharines but that plan has now fallen through on her behalf due to financial reasons. Considering we knew 2 cats was too much, Diva was going to the SPCA while we were going to keep Gibbs.
Up until late last night, mere hours after I went to bed. At 3am, this morning, I turned over and my right ankle landed smack dab into a cold wet spot on my bed. Thinking it was due to my pregnancy, as I am 9 months preggo and due to pop any day, I started to freak out until I realized it was at my ankle and far away from any part of the bed that I usually sleep on. I had just shoo'd Gibbs from my room and he had been near that same spot, while my dog was on the floor, out cold and practically snoring. I put it together that it was my cat peeing on my bed and I made the quick decision that it was time to make the hard admission that I had too much going on my life while my husband was away at base.
I love cats and, don't get me wrong, I'm a responsible pet owner. I'm not getting rid of Gibbs just 'because' I don't want him, as I do. He's an amazing cat and Chuck is very fond of him now. But I can't risk Gibbs getting angry and spiteful with one of the kids and peeing in their beds or somewhere that they will come in contact. So I am making this hard decision and actually should have known when I took Gibbs on that it was going to add too much my hectic life of chasing a toddler, caring for my dog and running my daily life on my own. Adding Gibbs meant cleaning cat litter that has needed to be changed everyday, since we now have the 2 cats at the moment. The feeding wasn't the problem but that cat litter is a real pain in rear end. And then there is the expense of getting Gibbs neutered. As much as it is more affordable than a female, it's still money that can be going into something more important at the moment, such as the new baby or bills.
Maybe one day we can take on a new cat or maybe even decide to get another dog, as we are realizing that we are more a dog family than one for cats. I don't know but for the near future, Juno will be my only fur-baby.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Aby VS Big Girl Bed
So for the past couple of weeks I have been putting Aby in her 'big girl bed'- just a twin sized day bed that my sister left behind when she moved to Toronto recently to be with her boyfriend and to start her new career as a hair stylist. We had 3 at one point, all the same, but this is the only left in the area that we own. One was sold to a family friend, the other is in Toronto with Kell (though I'm sure she doesn't need it, cough cough, hint hint) and this was the only one still here. We brought it over, put it in the big room so that the crib is now free to have my newest addition.
Well, you would think that I was asking Aby to sleep on a bed of nails, covered with a blanket of scorpions. The first was a novelty week, going smooth as silk for both her naps in the afternoon and her bedtimes. But since then, it's progressively just gotten worse and I just can't figure out why. And it's starting to worry me as my pregnancy draws to a close and I am start to think about the labour and afterwards. Yesterday and today have been just sheer nightmares- both at nap time and when she is to go down for the night.
Naps are no longer in her bed. For the past week, I have been going down with her in my own double bed. I pull the drapes across and then snuggle next to her. Seemed to be okay the first couple of days but now I'm worried that I've created a monster- now her naps HAVE to be in my bed and I CANNOT leave, at all. I have to go down with her or she gets up and starts to fuss. And, by that point, nap time is a bust and she ends up for the day and much more crankier than she would have been if she had just caved and given into the urge to sleep. Right now, I don't have a problem napping with her, as I am usually tired by the same time and nap refreshes my system. But, once Izzy is here, I cannot afford to do that- if Izzy is up, then I have to be up and Aby has to figure out that it is nap time and fall asleep on her own
Bedtimes are a nightmare. The typica routine is that she goes to my parent's place, plays, eats something if it is early enough, takes a bath there and then comes home- pajamaed and ready for bed. I will usually take her, either with the bottle of milk given to her or make one myself, and just put her down in her bed. She then would go down, I have had nearly 2 years of no problems at bed time. I guess I can figure that karma has come to bite me in the rump roast, as now, instead of going down and falling asleep within minutes, I am left with a child that is screaming and crying so hard that I don't think she even realizes she has pushed the limits of exhaustion. I don't know what do- tonight, we tried the routine that, yes, I have seen on SuperNanny. I go in the first time, tell her 'bedtime', put her down, say 'good night' and then leave. Second time, less talk and put her down. Third time she is up and out and fussing, I don't say a word and just put her down. Let's just say, I probably would have continued that all night with no give- she was that upset and finally, in her hysterics, she fell out of bed (no injury, don't worry).
By that point, my husband, who is home on the final portion of his 2 week compassionate leave and heading back to base to rectify his parental leave on Thursday, picked her up and she proceeded to fall asleep as we were in our darkened room and discussing what was going on. His mother has suggested just putting her back in the crib for naps and he was wanting to try and put her back in the crib for the night. It's been raised for Izzy, so not the most ideal for a toddler unafraid just climb out, but he was willing to give it a shot. I was a little more hesitant, as I see that as giving in. I see myself having even harder times down the road, trying to get Aby used to being in a bigger bed. Yes, we could get a second crib but, really, what are we essentially teaching her? Fight hard enough on something you don't want, that scares you or whatever, and you will get your way eventually. It will have effects on anything else we try to get her changed from.
Maybe I'm being stubborn myself, I don't know anymore. For once, since having Aby, I am so confused and lost as what to do and how to handle this. Aby has been a good child, never causing many situations where I feel like I don't know what to do or what a possible solution is. I'm not saying I've never asked questions or that I know everything, I just felt like things rectified themselves easy enough. Now I'm paying for it and ironically just weeks before my second daughter is due to enter the world. And it's scaring me to the bone- am I able to even do this? How am I going to take care of a toddler AND an infant?! How did other people, like my mother, do it? And what about when Chuck ISN'T on parental and has to be separated from us for his training once again?
Now I'm second guessing my strength to do this. I just wish this would go like it does in my head- smoothly, no issues. Aby just gets used to her bed and stops fighting it. I have my baby and I have two girls, happy where they sleep.
Anyways, those are my thoughts for the night....*sigh*
Well, you would think that I was asking Aby to sleep on a bed of nails, covered with a blanket of scorpions. The first was a novelty week, going smooth as silk for both her naps in the afternoon and her bedtimes. But since then, it's progressively just gotten worse and I just can't figure out why. And it's starting to worry me as my pregnancy draws to a close and I am start to think about the labour and afterwards. Yesterday and today have been just sheer nightmares- both at nap time and when she is to go down for the night.
Naps are no longer in her bed. For the past week, I have been going down with her in my own double bed. I pull the drapes across and then snuggle next to her. Seemed to be okay the first couple of days but now I'm worried that I've created a monster- now her naps HAVE to be in my bed and I CANNOT leave, at all. I have to go down with her or she gets up and starts to fuss. And, by that point, nap time is a bust and she ends up for the day and much more crankier than she would have been if she had just caved and given into the urge to sleep. Right now, I don't have a problem napping with her, as I am usually tired by the same time and nap refreshes my system. But, once Izzy is here, I cannot afford to do that- if Izzy is up, then I have to be up and Aby has to figure out that it is nap time and fall asleep on her own
Bedtimes are a nightmare. The typica routine is that she goes to my parent's place, plays, eats something if it is early enough, takes a bath there and then comes home- pajamaed and ready for bed. I will usually take her, either with the bottle of milk given to her or make one myself, and just put her down in her bed. She then would go down, I have had nearly 2 years of no problems at bed time. I guess I can figure that karma has come to bite me in the rump roast, as now, instead of going down and falling asleep within minutes, I am left with a child that is screaming and crying so hard that I don't think she even realizes she has pushed the limits of exhaustion. I don't know what do- tonight, we tried the routine that, yes, I have seen on SuperNanny. I go in the first time, tell her 'bedtime', put her down, say 'good night' and then leave. Second time, less talk and put her down. Third time she is up and out and fussing, I don't say a word and just put her down. Let's just say, I probably would have continued that all night with no give- she was that upset and finally, in her hysterics, she fell out of bed (no injury, don't worry).
By that point, my husband, who is home on the final portion of his 2 week compassionate leave and heading back to base to rectify his parental leave on Thursday, picked her up and she proceeded to fall asleep as we were in our darkened room and discussing what was going on. His mother has suggested just putting her back in the crib for naps and he was wanting to try and put her back in the crib for the night. It's been raised for Izzy, so not the most ideal for a toddler unafraid just climb out, but he was willing to give it a shot. I was a little more hesitant, as I see that as giving in. I see myself having even harder times down the road, trying to get Aby used to being in a bigger bed. Yes, we could get a second crib but, really, what are we essentially teaching her? Fight hard enough on something you don't want, that scares you or whatever, and you will get your way eventually. It will have effects on anything else we try to get her changed from.
Maybe I'm being stubborn myself, I don't know anymore. For once, since having Aby, I am so confused and lost as what to do and how to handle this. Aby has been a good child, never causing many situations where I feel like I don't know what to do or what a possible solution is. I'm not saying I've never asked questions or that I know everything, I just felt like things rectified themselves easy enough. Now I'm paying for it and ironically just weeks before my second daughter is due to enter the world. And it's scaring me to the bone- am I able to even do this? How am I going to take care of a toddler AND an infant?! How did other people, like my mother, do it? And what about when Chuck ISN'T on parental and has to be separated from us for his training once again?
Now I'm second guessing my strength to do this. I just wish this would go like it does in my head- smoothly, no issues. Aby just gets used to her bed and stops fighting it. I have my baby and I have two girls, happy where they sleep.
Anyways, those are my thoughts for the night....*sigh*
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I have a Confession
Okay, today I will admit something that has been an issue quite possibly for years but was made worse by pregnancy. I am not saying Aby was a mistake or that I regret her but admitting to something that has gotten worse over time and I am lucky to catch in the time that I have.
I have depression.
I'm not saying this to make everyone feel sorry for me, or to scare people from getting to know me. Nor am I stating this for all so that I get treated like I live in a glass bubble and am fragile. I am admitting this because it is part of who I am and I can't change that- all I can do at this point is to simply deal with it and accept it's presence in my life.
I have had problems with depression since I was an early teen, as I was just starting into high school. It was not bad then- I had 'dark times' but they only lasted a day and then wouldn't come back for a long time. But then I got pregnant, unexpectedly, and that started me down a slippery slope that was hard to recover from. By the time my daughter was 6 mnths, depression had fully sunk its claws into me. Then my husband left for Basic Military Training and within a few months, I finally broke and it was my husband that kickstarted the help that I desprately needed.
So far, I'm taking the medication route and realizing what 'normal' feels like. It's been so long since I have felt happy, light, with no worries sitting on my brain. I laugh more and even my temper, which has always bene like a spark needing some kindling, seems to be easier to control. I was so afraid of medication as I had never needed it- the strongest I had ever taken was Tylenol and here I was needing a drug for something that was serious. I fought it, found excuses in starting it but finally started the prescription. It's just been 3 days but it's helping and I'm glad my husband knew when to kick me in the butt and make me realize I needed help.
I have depression.
I'm not saying this to make everyone feel sorry for me, or to scare people from getting to know me. Nor am I stating this for all so that I get treated like I live in a glass bubble and am fragile. I am admitting this because it is part of who I am and I can't change that- all I can do at this point is to simply deal with it and accept it's presence in my life.
I have had problems with depression since I was an early teen, as I was just starting into high school. It was not bad then- I had 'dark times' but they only lasted a day and then wouldn't come back for a long time. But then I got pregnant, unexpectedly, and that started me down a slippery slope that was hard to recover from. By the time my daughter was 6 mnths, depression had fully sunk its claws into me. Then my husband left for Basic Military Training and within a few months, I finally broke and it was my husband that kickstarted the help that I desprately needed.
So far, I'm taking the medication route and realizing what 'normal' feels like. It's been so long since I have felt happy, light, with no worries sitting on my brain. I laugh more and even my temper, which has always bene like a spark needing some kindling, seems to be easier to control. I was so afraid of medication as I had never needed it- the strongest I had ever taken was Tylenol and here I was needing a drug for something that was serious. I fought it, found excuses in starting it but finally started the prescription. It's just been 3 days but it's helping and I'm glad my husband knew when to kick me in the butt and make me realize I needed help.
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