and the hormones rage on...

so I am heading into 7 weeks pregnant and slowly I'm getting even worse symptom than when I was carrying Aby.  This time I have the dreaded morning sickness- not strong right now and I am hoping that this is the extent of it.  Just tonight, I have felt nausous badly as I try to enjoy a baby-free evening for once.  I have wanted to eat and I have but the food that I have eaten just sits so terribly in my stomach, as if rebelling it presence there and making sure I know that.  This is on top of feeling so tired that I sometimes cave to nap, though I know I shouldn't (it sets of my sleep schedule and next thing I know I am up til 2am), as well feeling so emotional that even a small, silly and trivial emotional moment in a show sets me of into a torrent of tears.

I've been told that all these differences campared to Aby's pregnancy mean that it is a different gender than last time- in this case, a boy.  Not that gender matters, honestly, to me.  I will be happy that it is healthy and strong and hopefully as easy going a baby as its big sister.  But let's play sentimental here for just a moment.  If it's a boy, I get to 'enjoy' the other side of the coin with the boy clothes and toys and what not.  But I also have to consider circumcision and the terror of feeding a teenage boy- if he's anything like his father, well, better start considering the second mortgage for groceries and of hiring a maid service.  If it's a girl, I already have all the girl stuff and know what to expect in terms of 'girlie' things.  And I think it will be cute to see how close in resemblance Aby has to her little sister.  Actually, ha, if I read over that portion- I think I do have a bias on the gender, even if I say I really don't care.  I also get to pick the name, where Chuck is in charge of a boy's name- slightly terrifying thought.

Aby is starting to sprout her first tooth since gaining the four (2 top and 2 bottom) that she currently has.  It has been a couple of months since they settled in and now there is one bubbling up next to her 2 on the bottom, on the left side if I remember correctly.   Not like I can get in there and look-- my baby girl is very secretive about her appearing teeth.  The only time I know there is a new one coming in is when she decides to flash me a brilliant smile long enough that I can peer at her gums.

Just like every mother, I cannot wait until this teething business is over, though with my situation I will just be moving onto the other child.  And then dreaded period where they decide to fall out to reveal adult teeth....when I got pregnant for the first time, I was scared of that time as I hate pain and losing teeth is the epitomy of pain for  me.  Still is.

The hormones have been kicking my butt lately.  Chuck came home for the weekend and, despite knowing he had to go back, I cried like a child over a broken toy when his ride back to Quebec showed up.  In fact, my whole night was spent crying and then eventually feeling so down about myself and other things in my life.  I felt so silly the next day but I know it's pregnancy.  I have to get used to it for now and at least Chuck understands better this time.  When I was pregnant before, he was lost when I would suddenly have a 'drop' in my raging hormones and end up crying over silly things or sobbing that 'he doesn't love me'.  Looking back, I feel bad for him, since, and I'm sure this is common with any man, he wanted to fix what was wrong and making me cry so hard.  But this time he understands that it's not about 'fixing my problem', but rather just being there and listening to me as I carry on.  I don't mean it and actually, like Sunday night, I didn't even realize how down I really was.

But anyways, that is my post for tonight.