So, now I have a moment to sit and blog- I almost hate to admit it but I forgot about my corner of the web. With everything going on, I'm lucky if I remember basic tasks, let alone anything outside of that realm. Seems my life went from 'tourtise (sp?) slow, nothing new here' to 'holy crap, my ass is on fire'-- all in a matter of a week or so.
So Chuck managed to get into the military, which is good for him and us at the same time. Yes I have to contend with him being away for a large chunk of time at first but it will work out in the end. He will be happy, as he has always wanted to be in the military-- it's literally in his blood. It was just a lot to absorb all at once, especially with us thinking that he wasn't going to get in after all.
And I will go from being a common law 'wife' to an actual wife. We are working on getting the application and ceremony at city hall so that we are a legally married couple. I don't regret that part- in fact, I am looking forward to it. Just was a lot to absorb again, especially after finding out about the military.
It still feels surreal that my life will be changing in a couple of weeks. I am enjoying every minute with Chuck before he leaves, though at the same time preparing for not being able to talk to him like I do now. At the moment, I enjoy the luxury of 'talking' to him through text as he waits for this shift to start at work, then also having a chat with him during his lunch. We have stopped that. Once in the military, I won't be able to talk to him until the evening and that is if he is able to have the time to sit and talk. I may have to deal with days where I don't talk to him and better to get used to that now or as close that now as I can-- I don't take to change very well, so I have to prepare myself.
Blah, there are days where I feel like I'm making a big deal out of this and worrying for nothing. And maybe I am, I don't know. The closest to this that I have dealt with was before he moved in with me- back in when he was in college. But that was different. He could talk for as long as he wanted then.
Other than for that, nothing much has been going on. Aby has her first two teeth in officially now and she has officially taken to walking on her own-- no help from Mommy, please! It's funny. She will not take anyone's hands to help her learn to walk-- she is a very independent soul and likes to teach herself. Ha ha, hints of Mommy! She also have gained such a fun, outgoing little personality as well-- she knows that she is the center of attention and loves being there. Now THAT isn't Mommy-- I don't know where she gets that from!
Her and Juno (our dog) get along so well-- I can see them being very close as they get older together. Juno is very good around Aby and I am very happy to see that. I was always afraid that, despite having grown up around a crawling, exploring child, that Juno would end up biting or nipping at Aby when Aby got enough nerve to start grabbing at her. But Juno is so good--takes it like a pro and then walks away when she has had enough. Not once have I had a fear of her biting, though I have seen her nibble on Aby's hands when Aby is getting too grabby but I usually catch that and tell her 'no'.
Wow, my writing tonight is atrocious! I should be in bed and will be heading there very soon...just wanted to tire myself out sufficiently enough...
Night all!
My Growing Girl
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
9 months
So it has been nearly 9 months since Aby was born-officially 9 months on the 16th of this month. It has been the same amount of time as the pregnancy and I have the chance to look back at how much my little girl has changed.
She is at least 19lbs, and she will be officially weighed when she goes in for a brief check up on the 15th. She is healthy, smiling and learning new things everyday. She is crawling like a pro, almost too well at times, and slowly getting to the point where she may take her first steps. From what I can see in her mouth (as I can't get my finger in to hold her mouth open at all), she has 2 teeth coming in on her bottom gums- but I don't think they are in a hurry to make their appearance quite yet. She is doing very well on solids-she even eats table food occasionally- and has completely weaned herself from formula and is on whole milk, juice and water. From what I see, she has the same coloured hair as her father and it is CURLY CURLY CURLY-- Mom says that is my sister Breanne but I also know that she got that from her father as well. She is a talker, having her 'gr' down well and she loves to chatter. I am very proud and happy of my little girl.
It's wierd but I'm missing the little baby and I'm realizing slowly that, just maybe, I was a little hasty to say that I was only having one. I did but as Aby gets older, I'm becoming more willing to try again and this time look forward to pregnancy and another child. I'm willing to deal with the change from spoiling an only child to balancing the care of an older child with the care of a new infant- what a change in mind-set for me! I'm even thinking that I am....and I'm still stunned with this thought...that I am wanting to have 3 by the time I'm done with pregnancies. Still not too certain on that one but still, for me to even consider 3 children is a massive change in my attitude. One that Charles will enjoy, as he wants to have 2 or 3 children and was almost heart-broken when I said that I just wanted one.
I have come so far myself as a mother, too, since I brought Abygael home from the hospital. Back then, I was unsure of myself and the maternal instinct, if you want to call it that, had yet to hit. I have contended with some post-partum issues and come out stronger and mentally healthier from it. It's been rocky, for me as an individual and as a woman in a relationship with Charles. I now feel like Aby's mom and not just like I'm here, separate, from her.
The one thing I will say for any woman that has a child is that going from someone without children, who didn't expect to have a child so soon, to a mother is that it doesn't fall into place right away. That idea that you look at that baby after feeling it for 9 months inside you is bliss and pride, the stereotype that all women feel the 'instinct' kick automatically is just that- a stereotype. It took nearly 4 months for me to settle into my new role, for me to feel some connection to my child. I loved her but I kept feeling wierd referring to myself as a mom- now I have absolutely no problem but it was an issue early on. Now I spoil my daughter (and my dog, as Chuck would love to add if he were watching me type) and have now second thought. I am proud to be a mother and I am looking forward to watching her grow and planning for her sibling.
On another note, Charles and I are working hard on our relationship. My sister recently got engaged-last night, in fact- and we started talking about where we stand since Aby was born. Her birth brought a lot of issues, so much so that we called off the wedding and have lived as an un-engaged couple because we both didn't feel that it was coming together well enough to say that we were wanting marriage like we used to. I know some of this has been mentioned already but we have bee working hard at it and, last night, we decided what we wanted. As weird as it is to admit, but we both feel that we need a 're-engagement'. This is mainly due to the fact that so much as happened since we got engaged to begin with- I mean, it was February when he preposed and then in April I become pregnant. We both feel like that original engagement got forgotten amongst us dealing with pregnancy, the delivery and then fitting into our new roles as parents.
Chuck agreed to come up with something special, make it so that we acknowledge the change and that we still feel we want to be together after everything. And with this new 'engagement', we finally decide on a date and go forward without any second thoughts and without looking back. I want to have that special day and to finally make this relationship officially what it is- the only one I ever want.
**photos: first-taken at one week old at the Real Canadian Superstore Portrait Studio, second sitting in her bouncy chair at 2 or 3 weeks old (taken by me) and the last one was taken by me at 8 1/2 months approximately in the living room of our current apartment **
She is at least 19lbs, and she will be officially weighed when she goes in for a brief check up on the 15th. She is healthy, smiling and learning new things everyday. She is crawling like a pro, almost too well at times, and slowly getting to the point where she may take her first steps. From what I can see in her mouth (as I can't get my finger in to hold her mouth open at all), she has 2 teeth coming in on her bottom gums- but I don't think they are in a hurry to make their appearance quite yet. She is doing very well on solids-she even eats table food occasionally- and has completely weaned herself from formula and is on whole milk, juice and water. From what I see, she has the same coloured hair as her father and it is CURLY CURLY CURLY-- Mom says that is my sister Breanne but I also know that she got that from her father as well. She is a talker, having her 'gr' down well and she loves to chatter. I am very proud and happy of my little girl.
It's wierd but I'm missing the little baby and I'm realizing slowly that, just maybe, I was a little hasty to say that I was only having one. I did but as Aby gets older, I'm becoming more willing to try again and this time look forward to pregnancy and another child. I'm willing to deal with the change from spoiling an only child to balancing the care of an older child with the care of a new infant- what a change in mind-set for me! I'm even thinking that I am....and I'm still stunned with this thought...that I am wanting to have 3 by the time I'm done with pregnancies. Still not too certain on that one but still, for me to even consider 3 children is a massive change in my attitude. One that Charles will enjoy, as he wants to have 2 or 3 children and was almost heart-broken when I said that I just wanted one.I have come so far myself as a mother, too, since I brought Abygael home from the hospital. Back then, I was unsure of myself and the maternal instinct, if you want to call it that, had yet to hit. I have contended with some post-partum issues and come out stronger and mentally healthier from it. It's been rocky, for me as an individual and as a woman in a relationship with Charles. I now feel like Aby's mom and not just like I'm here, separate, from her.
The one thing I will say for any woman that has a child is that going from someone without children, who didn't expect to have a child so soon, to a mother is that it doesn't fall into place right away. That idea that you look at that baby after feeling it for 9 months inside you is bliss and pride, the stereotype that all women feel the 'instinct' kick automatically is just that- a stereotype. It took nearly 4 months for me to settle into my new role, for me to feel some connection to my child. I loved her but I kept feeling wierd referring to myself as a mom- now I have absolutely no problem but it was an issue early on. Now I spoil my daughter (and my dog, as Chuck would love to add if he were watching me type) and have now second thought. I am proud to be a mother and I am looking forward to watching her grow and planning for her sibling.
On another note, Charles and I are working hard on our relationship. My sister recently got engaged-last night, in fact- and we started talking about where we stand since Aby was born. Her birth brought a lot of issues, so much so that we called off the wedding and have lived as an un-engaged couple because we both didn't feel that it was coming together well enough to say that we were wanting marriage like we used to. I know some of this has been mentioned already but we have bee working hard at it and, last night, we decided what we wanted. As weird as it is to admit, but we both feel that we need a 're-engagement'. This is mainly due to the fact that so much as happened since we got engaged to begin with- I mean, it was February when he preposed and then in April I become pregnant. We both feel like that original engagement got forgotten amongst us dealing with pregnancy, the delivery and then fitting into our new roles as parents.
Chuck agreed to come up with something special, make it so that we acknowledge the change and that we still feel we want to be together after everything. And with this new 'engagement', we finally decide on a date and go forward without any second thoughts and without looking back. I want to have that special day and to finally make this relationship officially what it is- the only one I ever want.
**photos: first-taken at one week old at the Real Canadian Superstore Portrait Studio, second sitting in her bouncy chair at 2 or 3 weeks old (taken by me) and the last one was taken by me at 8 1/2 months approximately in the living room of our current apartment **
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