Missing being pregnant...nahhhh

So there has been a lot of talk of missing the whole pregnancy thing and the thought has crossed my mind since the birth of Aby. Okay, once the stitches healed and the pain finally went away, I had the thought roll across my mind.

Do I miss it? Somedays, yes I do. I miss knowing my child before anyone else did. It was an amazing feeling when she started to kick and squirm and I finally knew that, yes, there was something in there other than my normal organs. I miss watching my belly grow, though I will admit that I don't miss the 'unable to put my own shoes on' stage. I look at Aby and I sometimes forget that she was in my belly for 9 long months or, to be specific, the 42 or 43 weeks that she called me home.

But then I remember the pain, the discomfort, everything else that came with it. For me, the first part of the pregnancy wasn't so bad. I didn't have morning sickness, or headaches or even a bit of hearburn that some woman complained about during their pregnancies. I did have a sore back that forced me onto mat leave a lot sooner than I liked but that was it. It was the later portion of carrying Aby that did me in. The larger I got, the harder it was to move. I was hungry all the time but could only eat small amounts of food before I felt full. I don't miss that time. I also don't miss the feeling of my daughter's little finger scraping against my always-full bladder- definately don't miss that!

I will admit though, despite saying that I don't want another, that I probably would go through it again. I have had to admit that the reason why I didn't truelly enjoy Aby's pregnancy was due to the fact that it was unexpected. I was wanting to wait much longer before becoming a mother and held some resentment in the beginning that her pregnancy was going to change everything. Do I hold that against her? Oh my God, no! But I also have to state that if we had planned her arrival, maybe I would have cherished her growth inside me a little bit more. Maybe, in some ways, having a second when the time comes will be that redemption for me and I will try harder to relish the feeling of being pregnant.

I do love my daughter- her presence in my life has made me a much better person and to grow up faster. I appreaciate every day with her and would love to give her a sibling to play with. Just don't pass that around to too many people.....